The 17th post actual special

yeah man 17

ive actually been waiting for the 17th post to do a special. like i would have done a post saying how boned i was from school, but that would have made for a pretty balls 17th post special, so i made you wait for it.

/ pfft its only been 3 weeks. i only care a little bit

k some steve updates.
its thursday the like 10th or so. 2 exams down, 4 to go. pretty rockin.
did physics and chem, they went pretty well. ive got 3 easy exams coming up, then calculus next friday. that will be really fml. dont expect a blog any time around there.
umm i did a giant amount of work up to exams. like a really balls amount of work. like my first all nighter doing homework. really rockin.
playing bass and big bang theory right now. which is actually rockin
OH i also started playing kingdom of loathing again. currently a level 5ish turtle tamer. friggin love that game

k some good stuff

yeah so there has been pretty much nothing up with me recently. and not much to blog about. but the 17th post actual special needs to be special, so well do story time for a little while

also im not really planning on editing this or anything like that, so if stuff stops making sense, just go with it. im sure stuff will work out.

k some background info first. its now around 5:37 and i just started an episode of the simpsons. the last story took like 4832 hours to write, so i just want to keep track of this etc

k so here is the story of the time that some kids tried to mug me.
yeah its pretty exciting.

its right here that i want to make sure that my readers know that this story is COMPLETELY true. this is all fact right here, like no exaggeration either. all fact. we can go cry together when its over, but lets just enjoy for now.

k so the story starts as our hero (steve) is getting off of work at hmv. its like 5pm on a sunday, like juneish. the sun is still up and there is plenty of sunlight. and its 5pm on a sunday. remember that, it will be important later.

k so i was going to catch the bus home and i had to go to the local bus station. normally i dont go there, because it kinda smells like pee and bus stations are pretty lame anyways. the walk from hmv to the bus station takes like 4 minutes. like its literally across the street from the mall. shouldnt be a problem. its also broad daylight, at like 5pm, on a sunday.

so here i am, walking down through the parking lot and i see these two kids like harassing a dude in a suit. and like this suit guy looked really really pissed that the kids were talking to him. and as im walking by im just like dont talk to me dont talk to me, "hey buddy!", fml

they started with pleasantries, it was so innocent

its at this point that i should give some description on the...gangsters, so that you can have a better time visualizing this. there are 2 guys, both 6 feet tall or under. maybe like 16. not really sure about the age tho. guy 1, "funny" guy, is the taller of the two, maybe 5'10"/11", moderately overweight and wearing one of those big fluffy down sectioned gangster coats (http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=down+coat&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&start=0 ... just pretend that the people in the pictures super intimidating gangstas, not chicks). ps, its june remember? im comfortable walking around in my tshirt. badass stuff right here

fellow number 2, quiet guy, is shorter, maybe like 5'6", really skinny, wearing like a black wifebeater, I THINK. it was a long time ago, i cant really remember, but it was something really badass, no doubt. he had the backwards cap on and super reflective sunglasses. i remember that. glasses make the man. if this was a boy band, he would be the tough one...think aj from the backstreet boys, but more...badass. yeah badass.

k right, pleasantries. "hey man, whats up?" "...fml....oh not too much" "thats pretty sweet". this is where the fat put his hand out for a handshake. obliging, i get this "oh man actually i dont want to shake your hand, i dont know where its been"....okay...skinny followed suit. he had his arm sticking out to the right with his forearm at a 90 degree angle with his arm. im trying to explain this well, because it really confused me. it turns out that the gangster thing to do is to bump forearms with people when you meet them. i guess he was worried about swine flu. whatever.

k pleasantries are over, time for business

fatty does most of the talking here,
"so where are you from?"
"bradford, just getting the bus back. pretty sweet"
"yeah man, do you know [insert random name]?"
"nope"
"word, i partied with him a few times pretty...rad" (skinny nods in agreement)
"sweet..." (super fml right now, like just gtfo)
"anyways...can we borrow some money for bus fare back to TO?"
Fuuuu "naw man i dont have any money on me, im going to go do debit for my bus ticket anyways"
"so youre saying that if we looked in your wallet right now, there would be nothing in it, right?"

yeah

that just happened

"...uhh yeah, i dont have anything in my wallet right now" (right now im doing the same thing that youre doing. just like are you serious, fuck off, etc)
"are you sure?"
"yeah"
"can we see your wallet?"
"........uhh no?" <-- said with a question mark, because i was like are you serious?
"can we see it?"
(i dont think skinny has said much yet...cant really remember)
"no i dont really want to show you my wallet"
"come on...."
(continues)
i eventually give in, hoping that if i show them that i dont have any money, theyll leave me alone. like i honestly didnt have anything on me of value that they could use. like my debit, what are they going to do with that, like hold up the line at a store? w.e
"yeah i guess you werent lying..."

so i cross the street and they stayed on the other side, time to hit the bus, home and the couch. its over. cool. good blog.

Part 2

whoops

that was a lie.

heres the setup for part 2. im in the parking lot on the other side of the street. theres is a building that i have to walk either through this little arch thing, or around the building to the same archway...theyre about the same distance. i usually do the archway, because i rock or something. then the bus station is like right there. 40 seconds of walking, tops.

back to it

im halfway through the parking lot and i hear a hey wait!

F

M

L

skinny is walking, but i see fatty hobbling at me with his hand in his large jackets pocket, making it look like hes got some sort of item in his jacket. you can tell that he didnt tho, he had like a big smile on his face...like happy smile, not an im going to mug you smile, plus hes kind of a noob. i wait for them to catch up and they continue pleasantries for a minute.

so we walk to the archway and fatty ACTUALLY says this, "do you think there are any cameras here?". like he was in the middle of the three of us and he said that. like he didnt even try to pretend to hide it. so i can see where this is going and go (really fml'ly)"PROBABLY"

like 5 steps later they go "...yeah were going to need your wallet"
Steve "umm no?" (like are they srs right now?)
(i forget who did the talking here, but im pretty sure that skinny had started to pipe up about now) "yeah we need your wallet"
"why would you want it? ive shown it to you, you know that theres nothing in it"
"yeah were going need it anyways"
"umm no. you know i dont have anything in it"
so skinny takes off his super badass glasses, so that hes more intimidating. he had a pretty fresh black eye. i kept myself from laughing right at him. BUT i am backed against the wall. that sucked. but anyways
"look guy we just need the wallet"
"umm no"
fatty: "man this a standard mugging, give us the wallet"

fact

he said that.

like exactly that. i did some ad libbing on the man part, he might have said dude, but the rest of that sentence is quoted word for word.

so this is really shit right now, because i guess im getting mugged and these dudes are just so fail. shit all over the place

BUT i did appreciate that they told me what was going on. like if youve seen the princess bride, youll know what im talking about. i like it when people just tell you what their intentions are up front. it makes stuff way easier.

anyways
"umm no you cant have my wallet"

so im looking around for an escape route and skinny caught me. he SLAMMED his arm against the wall to prevent me from escaping and he told me to give away my wallet again. its at this point that i would like to remind you that ive got like a head and a half over skinny. if i really wanted to, i could step over his arm. yeah rockin. also its still like 5pm. maybe like 5:06. on a sunday. yeah man

so theyre kinda pissed that i said no. i guess that doesnt happen often.
"just turn around"
"umm no, theres nothing in my wallet"
"k just turn around and put your hands on the wall like you would if we were the police"
"umm no"
"dude do it"
"no"

here comes the saving grace. ready for it. like 3 13 year old girls walk by. they actually went through the other way AND they didnt even see us.
yeah

so skinny and fatty see the girls and go oh man. we better stop. and im like you THINK?

fucking noobs.

so i start walking and they walk with me. heres an exert from the convo

"so you know we were just kidding right?"
"oh yeah for sure......"
"yeah we were just kidding around. you know how we told you to turn around and like spread'em? yeah that was just a test to make sure that you werent a cop."
"...oh....well did i pass?"
"...yeah...i guess you did..."
so were almost at the station, people are everywhere
then i hear (not even discretely)
"yeah lets let this guy go."

and they were gone.
and i actually got to the bus station.

so yeah. thats the whole story. decent for a 17th post actual special?

w.e good enough.

also its like 7:30 right now.

i did take some breaks, but i spent most of the time writing.
pretty sweet

also fun fact: on sundays the buses leave to bford every 2 hours, at 5:15 and at 7:15.
im pretty sure that the punkasses made me miss my bus. THAT was what i was the most pissed off about.

fucking punkasses.

right on

so i know that you guys were waiting for the song list this whole time. i wont keep you from it anymore.

The Songs:

RIGHT NOW: simpsons: das bus --> aka the lord of the flies episode! sooooooo good. its time to write another delicious memo. mmmmm memo.

NEW: k this dude on youtube named ronald jenkees. i found him on tuesday and im super addicted. like its moderately nuts. sooooo good
heres a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg8LfoyDFUM

TOO MUCH: throwing fire - ronald jenkees. amazing song. definitely learning it on the bass right now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O2aH4XLbto
AND
new milenium cyanide christ - meshuggah. twofer, i know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A_tSyJBsRQ

OLD: bleed - meshuggah. ive been listening to a lot of their other albums and i havent really heard this song since the last major test. my word does it get you jacked tho. i did my physics test at 9am on tuesday and i was really ready to go


SHOUT OUTS
cool. so ima shout out matt. who is one of the people that i actually knew that read the blog. umm some stuff about matt. umm he likes money and mcdonalds. thats what the facebook used to say. something like that. oh and pittsburg penguins. yeah hes into that hockey stuff for some reason.

i think i told lois that i was going to shout her out. yeah shouted out. she definitely ditched on the driving me back to hamilton and i ended up waiting in orangeville for like an hour. really solid carol. yeah but naw shes pretty classy, probably should hold that against her

ill also shout out craig piper. dougs dad, who apparently reads my blog more than doug does. pretty awesome man. have fun with the retirement, pretty good stuff.

id also like to shout out all of the people that actually read blog. like in the past couple of weeks ive had more than a few, steve ive been checking your blog 8 or 9 times a day and you havent updated it in forever, wtfrig? its actually pretty sweet.

k cool im done

way to go team.

and actually check back sometimes, i might do some posts. next week might be kinda lame, but this place will be pretty busy over xmas. i know im excited