moderately lied. im sticking to my guns here.
yeah dude xmas eve post megatacular. acutally its like 3 minutes to midnight, so it should be the christmas one, but well save that one for like 1 am on boxing day. just because
yeah so i dont know about you guys, but the holiday season really takes it out of me. like i literally woke up, did nothing, went to shoppers for like 15 minutes for last last minute gift and ice cream, did nothing, ate, wrapped presents, ate, watched christmas story, blog, bed. and im exhausted! i dont know if its my body having trouble digesting all of this food thats making me tired, but its super rough. like im having trouble keeping my eyes open. that and santas going to be here soon. i mean like a recent update from NORAD says that hes in nunavut right now, but it takes a lot of time to keep my readers entertained. he might come.
so santas hauling ass right now. like you know how i said that he was in nunavut like ten minutes ago? hes definitely in wisconsin right now. friggin nuts.
anyways tho, update!
im not sure if i have ever told anyone this, but a christmas story is like my favourite movie ever. yeah you might have noticed that the name of this post was a satirical reference a moment in the movie. pretty rockin. its also been brought to my attention by my sister that there are some people in the world that dont like that movie. if one of my readers is one of these people, you can feel free to come meet me sometime and i will knock some sense into you. dont worry, i wont make you pay a fee or anything, this is just my little gift to the less fortunate.
yeap...pretty good time.
also update.
radiohead is the best. like thats just a fact. like im not going to lie, i wasnt really too big a fan of in rainbows when it came out, but it gets better every time i listen to it. like its obviously not their best one (kid a), but shes making a pretty good fight for second right now. not too shabby.
songs
right now: all i need - radiohead
on deck: faust arp then the rest of in rainbows
ready for this? xmas eve extended shout out section!
ftw
regular shout out
definitely shouting out the big guy and his crack team of reindeer. like hes in kansas right now. i think its been half an hour since he left nunavut. those reindeer are beasts
super special shout out
its definitely charlenes birthday today (meaning the 24th, when i started the post). im still a little rusty on the birthday shout out, but here we go. um its definitely rockin that that chick is 18...because shes only like a full year from being able to buy cigarettes and booze and selling them to children at a super increased price. seriously tho shes really rockin. i wish i was as cool as her*. i definitely havent been shouted out as many times as she has
really sappy (but still relevant) shout out
ima shout out all of the people who are working right now, worked all day today and who will continue to work tomorrow. thats really shit. i got your back.
bs shout out
holiday drivers. youre all dicks.
also i missed the last episode of canadas worst driver AGAIN. it was on from 11-midnight and i forgot. soo pissed
yeah man
ill probably do one on xmas day
also santa is currently in mexico city. hes a beast
also also
fa ra ra ra ra. ra ra, ra. ra.
did you know that chinese turkey is duck?
*only on december 24th. any other day she has trouble standing near me because my rock aura is too great
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
man beths tits are huge
lol its the dog the bounty hunter wedding episode right now. dogs about to get married, but he has to put in on hold for a second because he has to go kick some guys ass right now. definitely quality programming
anyways
so yeah rough post yesterday. this blog a day is actually way harder than i thought it would be. like i thought that id be able to take it, but its a lot bigger when youre actually doing it.
oh man
yeah i might take tomorrow off. not going to lie.
anyways tho. yeah merediths party. pretty solid overall. i saw a lot of people that i havent seen in like 4 months, so that was really stellar. plus it was -342390 outside, so that made it really enjoyable.
really rockin
so yeah i actually have to take off right now. come back on pule, ill cook up a good post. like this is waaaaay too much fail right now
songs
now: dog and beths wedding special
on deck: heart of the city - the arkells. i started the song then my mom told me that the show was on. will listen to it after i finish crying over the show
shout outs
ima shout out meredith. rockin party man. it was probably a shit time cleaning up. umm tell me if you find my sweater lol...or if you read this. w.e
anyways yeah im probably going to take tomorrow off. but check back anyways i might post something fun.
probably not tho
but i might
anyways
so yeah rough post yesterday. this blog a day is actually way harder than i thought it would be. like i thought that id be able to take it, but its a lot bigger when youre actually doing it.
oh man
yeah i might take tomorrow off. not going to lie.
anyways tho. yeah merediths party. pretty solid overall. i saw a lot of people that i havent seen in like 4 months, so that was really stellar. plus it was -342390 outside, so that made it really enjoyable.
really rockin
so yeah i actually have to take off right now. come back on pule, ill cook up a good post. like this is waaaaay too much fail right now
songs
now: dog and beths wedding special
on deck: heart of the city - the arkells. i started the song then my mom told me that the show was on. will listen to it after i finish crying over the show
shout outs
ima shout out meredith. rockin party man. it was probably a shit time cleaning up. umm tell me if you find my sweater lol...or if you read this. w.e
anyways yeah im probably going to take tomorrow off. but check back anyways i might post something fun.
probably not tho
but i might
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
the 3 by 7 post
not much time today, going to merediths pretty soon, so ill make this quick
clever guy: when is a singer, not a singer....
other dude: when
clever guy: when he's a little horse!
songs
right now?: biggest loser where are they now? special / some south park xmas episode
shout outs
hm...lets shout out xmas drivers. because theyre all super terrible at driving and its a big pain and i almost saw like 87425798 accidents today. soo shit
anyways just remember that two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven...unless this took you less than 2 minutes to read, in which case x minutes in heaven is better than (x/2) minutes in heaven
come back tomorrow for some good blog time
clever guy: when is a singer, not a singer....
other dude: when
clever guy: when he's a little horse!
songs
right now?: biggest loser where are they now? special / some south park xmas episode
shout outs
hm...lets shout out xmas drivers. because theyre all super terrible at driving and its a big pain and i almost saw like 87425798 accidents today. soo shit
anyways just remember that two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven...unless this took you less than 2 minutes to read, in which case x minutes in heaven is better than (x/2) minutes in heaven
come back tomorrow for some good blog time
Monday, December 21, 2009
our babys growing up
number 20
this bad boy is officially an adult
like i know that we already did the 18 "im legal" post, but like we all know that 20 is when youre really an adult. like youve got your shit together, mortgage almost paid off, second or third wife, 2 kids, minivan. like 20, its time to check out.
fortunately for the people at home, this blog doesnt know when to quit. its going to end after years and years of long, drawn out, terrible posts with lots of musical numbers that are there just to fill up space (lets forget yesterdays post, shall we?). yep. this post is going to be that awk 25 year old dude at the high school party who hits on everybody. hes got a sweet beard and a minivan tho, so he gets chicks. thats the win part.
anyways. lets get to it
so i hate to do the "my blog is just me explaining the news in my own, unique (most of the time really gay) way", but this is real news. john frusciante has quit the red hot chili peppers. take a minute for that to sink in. like this new hurt me physically. stuff is shady and i dont really want to get into details, because thats not great use of the blog time, but yeah it sucks.
brb im going to go weep for a while.
i knew that flea and thom yorke was too good to be true.
also i guess its xmas season. apparently its on friday. i had no idea.
like i saw the end of charlie browns xmas a couple of tv specials and elf. thats pretty much it. like engineering has taken away my drums, my sleep, my life and now it has taken away my xmas. terrible. also ive seriously purchased like 3 things in total. kinda boned
on the plus side tho i havent used my brain in like 4 days and its pretty good.
so yeah pretty sweet.
songs
right now?: a south park xmas special. full of laughs
on deck?: probably a simpsons xmas special that ive already seen. fun fact for you hangers on: i watched up to like episode 234 at school. season 11. one of my prouder moments
legitimately on deck?: explosions in the sky is still on the way. AND once i can get my act together (or just not care) im going to get 3 new american dollar albums. so ill be listening to that.
shout outs?:
this ones for johhny frusc (pronounced "froosh"). come back. we need you. like ive only seen rhcp live once. thats orders of magnitude less than it should be. super brutal.
ksweet thats 20. good job everybody.
id also like to point out that having 20 posts gives me a clear lead over doug pipers stuff and rabbits number of posts. yep. im ahead.
anyways, i must get back to my simpsons and blankets. its freezing right here
come back for the (10 + 10 + 10/10)th special im really down
this bad boy is officially an adult
like i know that we already did the 18 "im legal" post, but like we all know that 20 is when youre really an adult. like youve got your shit together, mortgage almost paid off, second or third wife, 2 kids, minivan. like 20, its time to check out.
fortunately for the people at home, this blog doesnt know when to quit. its going to end after years and years of long, drawn out, terrible posts with lots of musical numbers that are there just to fill up space (lets forget yesterdays post, shall we?). yep. this post is going to be that awk 25 year old dude at the high school party who hits on everybody. hes got a sweet beard and a minivan tho, so he gets chicks. thats the win part.
anyways. lets get to it
so i hate to do the "my blog is just me explaining the news in my own, unique (most of the time really gay) way", but this is real news. john frusciante has quit the red hot chili peppers. take a minute for that to sink in. like this new hurt me physically. stuff is shady and i dont really want to get into details, because thats not great use of the blog time, but yeah it sucks.
brb im going to go weep for a while.
i knew that flea and thom yorke was too good to be true.
also i guess its xmas season. apparently its on friday. i had no idea.
like i saw the end of charlie browns xmas a couple of tv specials and elf. thats pretty much it. like engineering has taken away my drums, my sleep, my life and now it has taken away my xmas. terrible. also ive seriously purchased like 3 things in total. kinda boned
on the plus side tho i havent used my brain in like 4 days and its pretty good.
so yeah pretty sweet.
songs
right now?: a south park xmas special. full of laughs
on deck?: probably a simpsons xmas special that ive already seen. fun fact for you hangers on: i watched up to like episode 234 at school. season 11. one of my prouder moments
legitimately on deck?: explosions in the sky is still on the way. AND once i can get my act together (or just not care) im going to get 3 new american dollar albums. so ill be listening to that.
shout outs?:
this ones for johhny frusc (pronounced "froosh"). come back. we need you. like ive only seen rhcp live once. thats orders of magnitude less than it should be. super brutal.
ksweet thats 20. good job everybody.
id also like to point out that having 20 posts gives me a clear lead over doug pipers stuff and rabbits number of posts. yep. im ahead.
anyways, i must get back to my simpsons and blankets. its freezing right here
come back for the (10 + 10 + 10/10)th special im really down
this still counts
f everybody, i did it
ps every day means every one of the times that im awake, not necessarily every calender day
slash
its still sunday in some part of the world. im probably right on track for them. so there
anyways
heres weak post number 1. ready?
yeah so it is 2:27, so im not really into doing a blog right now. like ive got some radiohead going right now and some chips and bed would be really nice. BUT i will persevere, because even though i technically dont owe any of you anything, i do owe it to you, my loyal anonymous blog readers...except for shanon jyl and doug. even though im pretty sure that doug doesnt read this often. w.e
gotta get back to it. the world needs its awesome and there are very few people qualified for the job. speaking of which, there is a video that everyone needs to see. seriously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2guQYivZ6w
yep. that just happened.
according to youtube this video has existed for almost two months and im SO pissed that i just heard about it. like im pretty sure that this is the most metal thing that exists.
and how.
so yeah im pretty ready to hit the hay. tomorrows will be better. this is pretty rough. i mean like im used to going like every 2 or 3 times per wee...mon...whenever i feel like. and now im getting pushed to every day. like im not a machine. jeeeezzzzzeeeeee
you people
anyways i dont want you to have wasted your time, so im going to try another one of my classic rants.
you guys remember these right? i did one about airline food in one of the first ever posts. it was moderately successful. im not really sure why i havent done one since.
k here we go
*time passes*
so dont you hate it when youre trying to salvage a sinking blog at like 3 in the morning and you get attacked by a kitty and you spend a while petting it because you havent seen your cats in like 4 months?
pretty balls
thats all the rant / blogging i can do right now
songs
right now?: all i need - radiohead. sooooo good. theyre definitely champs
shout outs
lets shout out my kitty abby, who is currently sitting on my chest and making me do the blog with one hand. shes SO cute tho
lol
other stuff to save the blog
dont you hate pants?
ummmm
i need two men on this! thats what she sai-NO TIME! but that is what she sai-NO TIME!
some office and simpsons action right there. thats all i got
check back tomorrow-meaning 8 or 9 times during the next time that im awake. it will be better
bed now
good stuff
ps every day means every one of the times that im awake, not necessarily every calender day
slash
its still sunday in some part of the world. im probably right on track for them. so there
anyways
heres weak post number 1. ready?
yeah so it is 2:27, so im not really into doing a blog right now. like ive got some radiohead going right now and some chips and bed would be really nice. BUT i will persevere, because even though i technically dont owe any of you anything, i do owe it to you, my loyal anonymous blog readers...except for shanon jyl and doug. even though im pretty sure that doug doesnt read this often. w.e
gotta get back to it. the world needs its awesome and there are very few people qualified for the job. speaking of which, there is a video that everyone needs to see. seriously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2guQYivZ6w
yep. that just happened.
according to youtube this video has existed for almost two months and im SO pissed that i just heard about it. like im pretty sure that this is the most metal thing that exists.
and how.
so yeah im pretty ready to hit the hay. tomorrows will be better. this is pretty rough. i mean like im used to going like every 2 or 3 times per wee...mon...whenever i feel like. and now im getting pushed to every day. like im not a machine. jeeeezzzzzeeeeee
you people
anyways i dont want you to have wasted your time, so im going to try another one of my classic rants.
you guys remember these right? i did one about airline food in one of the first ever posts. it was moderately successful. im not really sure why i havent done one since.
k here we go
*time passes*
so dont you hate it when youre trying to salvage a sinking blog at like 3 in the morning and you get attacked by a kitty and you spend a while petting it because you havent seen your cats in like 4 months?
pretty balls
thats all the rant / blogging i can do right now
songs
right now?: all i need - radiohead. sooooo good. theyre definitely champs
shout outs
lets shout out my kitty abby, who is currently sitting on my chest and making me do the blog with one hand. shes SO cute tho
lol
other stuff to save the blog
dont you hate pants?
ummmm
i need two men on this! thats what she sai-NO TIME! but that is what she sai-NO TIME!
some office and simpsons action right there. thats all i got
check back tomorrow-meaning 8 or 9 times during the next time that im awake. it will be better
bed now
good stuff
Saturday, December 19, 2009
that shit is done
yeah man. first semester is over*. super metal
so here we go, regular life again. its actually really sweet. my readers should try it sometime
SEGUE
speaking of my readers, if you will direct your attention to the right side of the page, you will see that i now have 2 (two) followers. its pretty fantastic. so. at this rate of doubling follower count every 2ish months, ill be at a thousand in 20 months and like a million in... .... some time after that. definitely left the calculator with my brain in hamilton.
yeah so heres some juicy blog updates for the people at home. since i ditched the blog pretty bad ive decided to do a blog a day for the xmas break. yeah man its going to be magical. you might notice a sharp decline in the quality of the blogs, but overall it should be just as good as if i did like one or two super quality posts over. also if i get really desperate, i might do some themed posts. but lets hop that it doesnt come to that
sick
right on. so im back in the bford right now. f school. i probably passed my xams, but passing the courses and being allowed to stay in engineering are two different things. this might be rough. w.e. home rocks. its freezing and i dont have to sleep with earplugs and i dont have to eat at commons. its better.
so steve what did you do on your first night back?
well, i hit club 6. aka the VI aka the pride of bradford aka the happiest place on earth. sooooooooooooooo metal. like my readers that arent from the bford area have NO idea how metal this place is. like its SO shit, but like incredibly metal. i saw karl gerke AND jesse much in the line. yeah. rockin as shit.
anyways i went with ben, kucharski and quattrin, but there was a major line and like -50 outside, so we hit the waaaay less rockin rec room for some more liquor and air hockey. the liquor didnt suck. thats pretty much all that didnt suck about it.
but yeah we rehit the VI and it was friggin packed. like i didnt know very many people, which kinda sucked, but it didnt really matter that much. like just being there is all you need for a great night. anyways, after walking around and getting muscled out of my spot leaning on the bar by a fat chick (yeah that happened), we went downstairs. yep, downstairs. i didnt want to do it, but you kinda have to when you go. also, its at this point that the readers will get a tad divided; people from bford and surroundings are probably really sad right now and a little nauseous and people from places not equaling bradford probably dont understand.
anyways the VI downstairs is home to bradfords finest in...erotic? no. sexy? apparently, but im pretty sure that its a lie. nude? mostly. close enough. soooooooo brutal. for the people from out of town, the downstairs is just another section of the bar, with some pool tables, extra bathrooms and a stripper area. not good. like from what ive gathered from tv and comedians and first hand accounts, real strip bars are not usually located in the basement of the shadiest bar in existence. yeah. this one is more like a side note, like oh im getting a beer, i might as well go and see the "stripper" for a bit (will explain the quotes in a bit). most of the time no one really cares that there is a mostly naked chick right there. with good reason most of time tho. like the dancers are usually really old and really unappealing. super rockin. umm the first time i went downstairs some chick went up to the stage and i was like oh yeah she pretty old, kinda fat, she must just be going to clean up the stage for the next girl or something like that. nope. she danced. it was awkward.
anyways yeah the girl from winnipeg. so we sat down as she was just starting. it was pretty good? i guess? like i only have other VI "dancers" to base this off of, so i cant really tell. anyways tho, this chick was comparatively hot, meaning she was under 30, no scars. were in business. until. oh wait. yep, theres definitely a bun in that oven. oh boy, were definitely at the VI right now.
so yeah we sat there awkly for a while, then left, because it turns out that we stayed until last call. yeah i stayed at the VI until last call. you can feel the sleaze. soooo metal.
anyways tho, thats my update for today. dont expect the next couple if posts to be this exciting. but come back anyways
Some songs
right now?: i just watched half of the he-man and she-ra xmas special. it was soooooooo lame / metal at the same time. really brutal
too much?: rational gaze - meshuggah. i dunno. really rocking
on deck?: i picked up some explosions in the sky off of DC++, will probably do that soon
Shout outs
lets do honouralbe charles brown. i just caught the tail end of his holiday adventure show and it got me into a bit of the xmas spirit. also i need to start calling people blockheads more than i do. its pretty hate.
shout out matt again. its definitely his birthday today, turning the big 2-0. yeah happy birthday man. youve just been high levels of awesome: a blog'd. believe it.
ps these are going to get severely lame over the next little while. youve been warned.
cool. so yeah check back like 8 or 9 times tomorrow, and every day for the next 2 weeks, then every day until the blog gets so big that blogger has to shut it down because its starting to overshadow the rest of the internet. i cant wait for that to happen. i might have more than 2 legit followers by then too. pretty solid.
metal
*note that i said over, not that it was successfully completed with a fantastic average. but its over
so here we go, regular life again. its actually really sweet. my readers should try it sometime
SEGUE
speaking of my readers, if you will direct your attention to the right side of the page, you will see that i now have 2 (two) followers. its pretty fantastic. so. at this rate of doubling follower count every 2ish months, ill be at a thousand in 20 months and like a million in... .... some time after that. definitely left the calculator with my brain in hamilton.
yeah so heres some juicy blog updates for the people at home. since i ditched the blog pretty bad ive decided to do a blog a day for the xmas break. yeah man its going to be magical. you might notice a sharp decline in the quality of the blogs, but overall it should be just as good as if i did like one or two super quality posts over. also if i get really desperate, i might do some themed posts. but lets hop that it doesnt come to that
sick
right on. so im back in the bford right now. f school. i probably passed my xams, but passing the courses and being allowed to stay in engineering are two different things. this might be rough. w.e. home rocks. its freezing and i dont have to sleep with earplugs and i dont have to eat at commons. its better.
so steve what did you do on your first night back?
well, i hit club 6. aka the VI aka the pride of bradford aka the happiest place on earth. sooooooooooooooo metal. like my readers that arent from the bford area have NO idea how metal this place is. like its SO shit, but like incredibly metal. i saw karl gerke AND jesse much in the line. yeah. rockin as shit.
anyways i went with ben, kucharski and quattrin, but there was a major line and like -50 outside, so we hit the waaaay less rockin rec room for some more liquor and air hockey. the liquor didnt suck. thats pretty much all that didnt suck about it.
but yeah we rehit the VI and it was friggin packed. like i didnt know very many people, which kinda sucked, but it didnt really matter that much. like just being there is all you need for a great night. anyways, after walking around and getting muscled out of my spot leaning on the bar by a fat chick (yeah that happened), we went downstairs. yep, downstairs. i didnt want to do it, but you kinda have to when you go. also, its at this point that the readers will get a tad divided; people from bford and surroundings are probably really sad right now and a little nauseous and people from places not equaling bradford probably dont understand.
anyways the VI downstairs is home to bradfords finest in...erotic? no. sexy? apparently, but im pretty sure that its a lie. nude? mostly. close enough. soooooooo brutal. for the people from out of town, the downstairs is just another section of the bar, with some pool tables, extra bathrooms and a stripper area. not good. like from what ive gathered from tv and comedians and first hand accounts, real strip bars are not usually located in the basement of the shadiest bar in existence. yeah. this one is more like a side note, like oh im getting a beer, i might as well go and see the "stripper" for a bit (will explain the quotes in a bit). most of the time no one really cares that there is a mostly naked chick right there. with good reason most of time tho. like the dancers are usually really old and really unappealing. super rockin. umm the first time i went downstairs some chick went up to the stage and i was like oh yeah she pretty old, kinda fat, she must just be going to clean up the stage for the next girl or something like that. nope. she danced. it was awkward.
anyways yeah the girl from winnipeg. so we sat down as she was just starting. it was pretty good? i guess? like i only have other VI "dancers" to base this off of, so i cant really tell. anyways tho, this chick was comparatively hot, meaning she was under 30, no scars. were in business. until. oh wait. yep, theres definitely a bun in that oven. oh boy, were definitely at the VI right now.
so yeah we sat there awkly for a while, then left, because it turns out that we stayed until last call. yeah i stayed at the VI until last call. you can feel the sleaze. soooo metal.
anyways tho, thats my update for today. dont expect the next couple if posts to be this exciting. but come back anyways
Some songs
right now?: i just watched half of the he-man and she-ra xmas special. it was soooooooo lame / metal at the same time. really brutal
too much?: rational gaze - meshuggah. i dunno. really rocking
on deck?: i picked up some explosions in the sky off of DC++, will probably do that soon
Shout outs
lets do honouralbe charles brown. i just caught the tail end of his holiday adventure show and it got me into a bit of the xmas spirit. also i need to start calling people blockheads more than i do. its pretty hate.
shout out matt again. its definitely his birthday today, turning the big 2-0. yeah happy birthday man. youve just been high levels of awesome: a blog'd. believe it.
ps these are going to get severely lame over the next little while. youve been warned.
cool. so yeah check back like 8 or 9 times tomorrow, and every day for the next 2 weeks, then every day until the blog gets so big that blogger has to shut it down because its starting to overshadow the rest of the internet. i cant wait for that to happen. i might have more than 2 legit followers by then too. pretty solid.
metal
*note that i said over, not that it was successfully completed with a fantastic average. but its over
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The 17th post actual special
yeah man 17
ive actually been waiting for the 17th post to do a special. like i would have done a post saying how boned i was from school, but that would have made for a pretty balls 17th post special, so i made you wait for it.
/ pfft its only been 3 weeks. i only care a little bit
k some steve updates.
its thursday the like 10th or so. 2 exams down, 4 to go. pretty rockin.
did physics and chem, they went pretty well. ive got 3 easy exams coming up, then calculus next friday. that will be really fml. dont expect a blog any time around there.
umm i did a giant amount of work up to exams. like a really balls amount of work. like my first all nighter doing homework. really rockin.
playing bass and big bang theory right now. which is actually rockin
OH i also started playing kingdom of loathing again. currently a level 5ish turtle tamer. friggin love that game
k some good stuff
yeah so there has been pretty much nothing up with me recently. and not much to blog about. but the 17th post actual special needs to be special, so well do story time for a little while
also im not really planning on editing this or anything like that, so if stuff stops making sense, just go with it. im sure stuff will work out.
k some background info first. its now around 5:37 and i just started an episode of the simpsons. the last story took like 4832 hours to write, so i just want to keep track of this etc
k so here is the story of the time that some kids tried to mug me.
yeah its pretty exciting.
its right here that i want to make sure that my readers know that this story is COMPLETELY true. this is all fact right here, like no exaggeration either. all fact. we can go cry together when its over, but lets just enjoy for now.
k so the story starts as our hero (steve) is getting off of work at hmv. its like 5pm on a sunday, like juneish. the sun is still up and there is plenty of sunlight. and its 5pm on a sunday. remember that, it will be important later.
k so i was going to catch the bus home and i had to go to the local bus station. normally i dont go there, because it kinda smells like pee and bus stations are pretty lame anyways. the walk from hmv to the bus station takes like 4 minutes. like its literally across the street from the mall. shouldnt be a problem. its also broad daylight, at like 5pm, on a sunday.
so here i am, walking down through the parking lot and i see these two kids like harassing a dude in a suit. and like this suit guy looked really really pissed that the kids were talking to him. and as im walking by im just like dont talk to me dont talk to me, "hey buddy!", fml
they started with pleasantries, it was so innocent
its at this point that i should give some description on the...gangsters, so that you can have a better time visualizing this. there are 2 guys, both 6 feet tall or under. maybe like 16. not really sure about the age tho. guy 1, "funny" guy, is the taller of the two, maybe 5'10"/11", moderately overweight and wearing one of those big fluffy down sectioned gangster coats (http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=down+coat&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&start=0 ... just pretend that the people in the pictures super intimidating gangstas, not chicks). ps, its june remember? im comfortable walking around in my tshirt. badass stuff right here
fellow number 2, quiet guy, is shorter, maybe like 5'6", really skinny, wearing like a black wifebeater, I THINK. it was a long time ago, i cant really remember, but it was something really badass, no doubt. he had the backwards cap on and super reflective sunglasses. i remember that. glasses make the man. if this was a boy band, he would be the tough one...think aj from the backstreet boys, but more...badass. yeah badass.
k right, pleasantries. "hey man, whats up?" "...fml....oh not too much" "thats pretty sweet". this is where the fat put his hand out for a handshake. obliging, i get this "oh man actually i dont want to shake your hand, i dont know where its been"....okay...skinny followed suit. he had his arm sticking out to the right with his forearm at a 90 degree angle with his arm. im trying to explain this well, because it really confused me. it turns out that the gangster thing to do is to bump forearms with people when you meet them. i guess he was worried about swine flu. whatever.
k pleasantries are over, time for business
fatty does most of the talking here,
"so where are you from?"
"bradford, just getting the bus back. pretty sweet"
"yeah man, do you know [insert random name]?"
"nope"
"word, i partied with him a few times pretty...rad" (skinny nods in agreement)
"sweet..." (super fml right now, like just gtfo)
"anyways...can we borrow some money for bus fare back to TO?"
Fuuuu "naw man i dont have any money on me, im going to go do debit for my bus ticket anyways"
"so youre saying that if we looked in your wallet right now, there would be nothing in it, right?"
yeah
that just happened
"...uhh yeah, i dont have anything in my wallet right now" (right now im doing the same thing that youre doing. just like are you serious, fuck off, etc)
"are you sure?"
"yeah"
"can we see your wallet?"
"........uhh no?" <-- said with a question mark, because i was like are you serious?
"can we see it?"
(i dont think skinny has said much yet...cant really remember)
"no i dont really want to show you my wallet"
"come on...."
(continues)
i eventually give in, hoping that if i show them that i dont have any money, theyll leave me alone. like i honestly didnt have anything on me of value that they could use. like my debit, what are they going to do with that, like hold up the line at a store? w.e
"yeah i guess you werent lying..."
so i cross the street and they stayed on the other side, time to hit the bus, home and the couch. its over. cool. good blog.
Part 2
whoops
that was a lie.
heres the setup for part 2. im in the parking lot on the other side of the street. theres is a building that i have to walk either through this little arch thing, or around the building to the same archway...theyre about the same distance. i usually do the archway, because i rock or something. then the bus station is like right there. 40 seconds of walking, tops.
back to it
im halfway through the parking lot and i hear a hey wait!
F
M
L
skinny is walking, but i see fatty hobbling at me with his hand in his large jackets pocket, making it look like hes got some sort of item in his jacket. you can tell that he didnt tho, he had like a big smile on his face...like happy smile, not an im going to mug you smile, plus hes kind of a noob. i wait for them to catch up and they continue pleasantries for a minute.
so we walk to the archway and fatty ACTUALLY says this, "do you think there are any cameras here?". like he was in the middle of the three of us and he said that. like he didnt even try to pretend to hide it. so i can see where this is going and go (really fml'ly)"PROBABLY"
like 5 steps later they go "...yeah were going to need your wallet"
Steve "umm no?" (like are they srs right now?)
(i forget who did the talking here, but im pretty sure that skinny had started to pipe up about now) "yeah we need your wallet"
"why would you want it? ive shown it to you, you know that theres nothing in it"
"yeah were going need it anyways"
"umm no. you know i dont have anything in it"
so skinny takes off his super badass glasses, so that hes more intimidating. he had a pretty fresh black eye. i kept myself from laughing right at him. BUT i am backed against the wall. that sucked. but anyways
"look guy we just need the wallet"
"umm no"
fatty: "man this a standard mugging, give us the wallet"
fact
he said that.
like exactly that. i did some ad libbing on the man part, he might have said dude, but the rest of that sentence is quoted word for word.
so this is really shit right now, because i guess im getting mugged and these dudes are just so fail. shit all over the place
BUT i did appreciate that they told me what was going on. like if youve seen the princess bride, youll know what im talking about. i like it when people just tell you what their intentions are up front. it makes stuff way easier.
anyways
"umm no you cant have my wallet"
so im looking around for an escape route and skinny caught me. he SLAMMED his arm against the wall to prevent me from escaping and he told me to give away my wallet again. its at this point that i would like to remind you that ive got like a head and a half over skinny. if i really wanted to, i could step over his arm. yeah rockin. also its still like 5pm. maybe like 5:06. on a sunday. yeah man
so theyre kinda pissed that i said no. i guess that doesnt happen often.
"just turn around"
"umm no, theres nothing in my wallet"
"k just turn around and put your hands on the wall like you would if we were the police"
"umm no"
"dude do it"
"no"
here comes the saving grace. ready for it. like 3 13 year old girls walk by. they actually went through the other way AND they didnt even see us.
yeah
so skinny and fatty see the girls and go oh man. we better stop. and im like you THINK?
fucking noobs.
so i start walking and they walk with me. heres an exert from the convo
"so you know we were just kidding right?"
"oh yeah for sure......"
"yeah we were just kidding around. you know how we told you to turn around and like spread'em? yeah that was just a test to make sure that you werent a cop."
"...oh....well did i pass?"
"...yeah...i guess you did..."
so were almost at the station, people are everywhere
then i hear (not even discretely)
"yeah lets let this guy go."
and they were gone.
and i actually got to the bus station.
so yeah. thats the whole story. decent for a 17th post actual special?
w.e good enough.
also its like 7:30 right now.
i did take some breaks, but i spent most of the time writing.
pretty sweet
also fun fact: on sundays the buses leave to bford every 2 hours, at 5:15 and at 7:15.
im pretty sure that the punkasses made me miss my bus. THAT was what i was the most pissed off about.
fucking punkasses.
right on
so i know that you guys were waiting for the song list this whole time. i wont keep you from it anymore.
The Songs:
RIGHT NOW: simpsons: das bus --> aka the lord of the flies episode! sooooooo good. its time to write another delicious memo. mmmmm memo.
NEW: k this dude on youtube named ronald jenkees. i found him on tuesday and im super addicted. like its moderately nuts. sooooo good
heres a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg8LfoyDFUM
TOO MUCH: throwing fire - ronald jenkees. amazing song. definitely learning it on the bass right now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O2aH4XLbto
AND
new milenium cyanide christ - meshuggah. twofer, i know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A_tSyJBsRQ
OLD: bleed - meshuggah. ive been listening to a lot of their other albums and i havent really heard this song since the last major test. my word does it get you jacked tho. i did my physics test at 9am on tuesday and i was really ready to go
SHOUT OUTS
cool. so ima shout out matt. who is one of the people that i actually knew that read the blog. umm some stuff about matt. umm he likes money and mcdonalds. thats what the facebook used to say. something like that. oh and pittsburg penguins. yeah hes into that hockey stuff for some reason.
i think i told lois that i was going to shout her out. yeah shouted out. she definitely ditched on the driving me back to hamilton and i ended up waiting in orangeville for like an hour. really solid carol. yeah but naw shes pretty classy, probably should hold that against her
ill also shout out craig piper. dougs dad, who apparently reads my blog more than doug does. pretty awesome man. have fun with the retirement, pretty good stuff.
id also like to shout out all of the people that actually read blog. like in the past couple of weeks ive had more than a few, steve ive been checking your blog 8 or 9 times a day and you havent updated it in forever, wtfrig? its actually pretty sweet.
k cool im done
way to go team.
and actually check back sometimes, i might do some posts. next week might be kinda lame, but this place will be pretty busy over xmas. i know im excited
ive actually been waiting for the 17th post to do a special. like i would have done a post saying how boned i was from school, but that would have made for a pretty balls 17th post special, so i made you wait for it.
/ pfft its only been 3 weeks. i only care a little bit
k some steve updates.
its thursday the like 10th or so. 2 exams down, 4 to go. pretty rockin.
did physics and chem, they went pretty well. ive got 3 easy exams coming up, then calculus next friday. that will be really fml. dont expect a blog any time around there.
umm i did a giant amount of work up to exams. like a really balls amount of work. like my first all nighter doing homework. really rockin.
playing bass and big bang theory right now. which is actually rockin
OH i also started playing kingdom of loathing again. currently a level 5ish turtle tamer. friggin love that game
k some good stuff
yeah so there has been pretty much nothing up with me recently. and not much to blog about. but the 17th post actual special needs to be special, so well do story time for a little while
also im not really planning on editing this or anything like that, so if stuff stops making sense, just go with it. im sure stuff will work out.
k some background info first. its now around 5:37 and i just started an episode of the simpsons. the last story took like 4832 hours to write, so i just want to keep track of this etc
k so here is the story of the time that some kids tried to mug me.
yeah its pretty exciting.
its right here that i want to make sure that my readers know that this story is COMPLETELY true. this is all fact right here, like no exaggeration either. all fact. we can go cry together when its over, but lets just enjoy for now.
k so the story starts as our hero (steve) is getting off of work at hmv. its like 5pm on a sunday, like juneish. the sun is still up and there is plenty of sunlight. and its 5pm on a sunday. remember that, it will be important later.
k so i was going to catch the bus home and i had to go to the local bus station. normally i dont go there, because it kinda smells like pee and bus stations are pretty lame anyways. the walk from hmv to the bus station takes like 4 minutes. like its literally across the street from the mall. shouldnt be a problem. its also broad daylight, at like 5pm, on a sunday.
so here i am, walking down through the parking lot and i see these two kids like harassing a dude in a suit. and like this suit guy looked really really pissed that the kids were talking to him. and as im walking by im just like dont talk to me dont talk to me, "hey buddy!", fml
they started with pleasantries, it was so innocent
its at this point that i should give some description on the...gangsters, so that you can have a better time visualizing this. there are 2 guys, both 6 feet tall or under. maybe like 16. not really sure about the age tho. guy 1, "funny" guy, is the taller of the two, maybe 5'10"/11", moderately overweight and wearing one of those big fluffy down sectioned gangster coats (http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=down+coat&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&start=0 ... just pretend that the people in the pictures super intimidating gangstas, not chicks). ps, its june remember? im comfortable walking around in my tshirt. badass stuff right here
fellow number 2, quiet guy, is shorter, maybe like 5'6", really skinny, wearing like a black wifebeater, I THINK. it was a long time ago, i cant really remember, but it was something really badass, no doubt. he had the backwards cap on and super reflective sunglasses. i remember that. glasses make the man. if this was a boy band, he would be the tough one...think aj from the backstreet boys, but more...badass. yeah badass.
k right, pleasantries. "hey man, whats up?" "...fml....oh not too much" "thats pretty sweet". this is where the fat put his hand out for a handshake. obliging, i get this "oh man actually i dont want to shake your hand, i dont know where its been"....okay...skinny followed suit. he had his arm sticking out to the right with his forearm at a 90 degree angle with his arm. im trying to explain this well, because it really confused me. it turns out that the gangster thing to do is to bump forearms with people when you meet them. i guess he was worried about swine flu. whatever.
k pleasantries are over, time for business
fatty does most of the talking here,
"so where are you from?"
"bradford, just getting the bus back. pretty sweet"
"yeah man, do you know [insert random name]?"
"nope"
"word, i partied with him a few times pretty...rad" (skinny nods in agreement)
"sweet..." (super fml right now, like just gtfo)
"anyways...can we borrow some money for bus fare back to TO?"
Fuuuu "naw man i dont have any money on me, im going to go do debit for my bus ticket anyways"
"so youre saying that if we looked in your wallet right now, there would be nothing in it, right?"
yeah
that just happened
"...uhh yeah, i dont have anything in my wallet right now" (right now im doing the same thing that youre doing. just like are you serious, fuck off, etc)
"are you sure?"
"yeah"
"can we see your wallet?"
"........uhh no?" <-- said with a question mark, because i was like are you serious?
"can we see it?"
(i dont think skinny has said much yet...cant really remember)
"no i dont really want to show you my wallet"
"come on...."
(continues)
i eventually give in, hoping that if i show them that i dont have any money, theyll leave me alone. like i honestly didnt have anything on me of value that they could use. like my debit, what are they going to do with that, like hold up the line at a store? w.e
"yeah i guess you werent lying..."
so i cross the street and they stayed on the other side, time to hit the bus, home and the couch. its over. cool. good blog.
Part 2
whoops
that was a lie.
heres the setup for part 2. im in the parking lot on the other side of the street. theres is a building that i have to walk either through this little arch thing, or around the building to the same archway...theyre about the same distance. i usually do the archway, because i rock or something. then the bus station is like right there. 40 seconds of walking, tops.
back to it
im halfway through the parking lot and i hear a hey wait!
F
M
L
skinny is walking, but i see fatty hobbling at me with his hand in his large jackets pocket, making it look like hes got some sort of item in his jacket. you can tell that he didnt tho, he had like a big smile on his face...like happy smile, not an im going to mug you smile, plus hes kind of a noob. i wait for them to catch up and they continue pleasantries for a minute.
so we walk to the archway and fatty ACTUALLY says this, "do you think there are any cameras here?". like he was in the middle of the three of us and he said that. like he didnt even try to pretend to hide it. so i can see where this is going and go (really fml'ly)"PROBABLY"
like 5 steps later they go "...yeah were going to need your wallet"
Steve "umm no?" (like are they srs right now?)
(i forget who did the talking here, but im pretty sure that skinny had started to pipe up about now) "yeah we need your wallet"
"why would you want it? ive shown it to you, you know that theres nothing in it"
"yeah were going need it anyways"
"umm no. you know i dont have anything in it"
so skinny takes off his super badass glasses, so that hes more intimidating. he had a pretty fresh black eye. i kept myself from laughing right at him. BUT i am backed against the wall. that sucked. but anyways
"look guy we just need the wallet"
"umm no"
fatty: "man this a standard mugging, give us the wallet"
fact
he said that.
like exactly that. i did some ad libbing on the man part, he might have said dude, but the rest of that sentence is quoted word for word.
so this is really shit right now, because i guess im getting mugged and these dudes are just so fail. shit all over the place
BUT i did appreciate that they told me what was going on. like if youve seen the princess bride, youll know what im talking about. i like it when people just tell you what their intentions are up front. it makes stuff way easier.
anyways
"umm no you cant have my wallet"
so im looking around for an escape route and skinny caught me. he SLAMMED his arm against the wall to prevent me from escaping and he told me to give away my wallet again. its at this point that i would like to remind you that ive got like a head and a half over skinny. if i really wanted to, i could step over his arm. yeah rockin. also its still like 5pm. maybe like 5:06. on a sunday. yeah man
so theyre kinda pissed that i said no. i guess that doesnt happen often.
"just turn around"
"umm no, theres nothing in my wallet"
"k just turn around and put your hands on the wall like you would if we were the police"
"umm no"
"dude do it"
"no"
here comes the saving grace. ready for it. like 3 13 year old girls walk by. they actually went through the other way AND they didnt even see us.
yeah
so skinny and fatty see the girls and go oh man. we better stop. and im like you THINK?
fucking noobs.
so i start walking and they walk with me. heres an exert from the convo
"so you know we were just kidding right?"
"oh yeah for sure......"
"yeah we were just kidding around. you know how we told you to turn around and like spread'em? yeah that was just a test to make sure that you werent a cop."
"...oh....well did i pass?"
"...yeah...i guess you did..."
so were almost at the station, people are everywhere
then i hear (not even discretely)
"yeah lets let this guy go."
and they were gone.
and i actually got to the bus station.
so yeah. thats the whole story. decent for a 17th post actual special?
w.e good enough.
also its like 7:30 right now.
i did take some breaks, but i spent most of the time writing.
pretty sweet
also fun fact: on sundays the buses leave to bford every 2 hours, at 5:15 and at 7:15.
im pretty sure that the punkasses made me miss my bus. THAT was what i was the most pissed off about.
fucking punkasses.
right on
so i know that you guys were waiting for the song list this whole time. i wont keep you from it anymore.
The Songs:
RIGHT NOW: simpsons: das bus --> aka the lord of the flies episode! sooooooo good. its time to write another delicious memo. mmmmm memo.
NEW: k this dude on youtube named ronald jenkees. i found him on tuesday and im super addicted. like its moderately nuts. sooooo good
heres a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg8LfoyDFUM
TOO MUCH: throwing fire - ronald jenkees. amazing song. definitely learning it on the bass right now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O2aH4XLbto
AND
new milenium cyanide christ - meshuggah. twofer, i know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A_tSyJBsRQ
OLD: bleed - meshuggah. ive been listening to a lot of their other albums and i havent really heard this song since the last major test. my word does it get you jacked tho. i did my physics test at 9am on tuesday and i was really ready to go
SHOUT OUTS
cool. so ima shout out matt. who is one of the people that i actually knew that read the blog. umm some stuff about matt. umm he likes money and mcdonalds. thats what the facebook used to say. something like that. oh and pittsburg penguins. yeah hes into that hockey stuff for some reason.
i think i told lois that i was going to shout her out. yeah shouted out. she definitely ditched on the driving me back to hamilton and i ended up waiting in orangeville for like an hour. really solid carol. yeah but naw shes pretty classy, probably should hold that against her
ill also shout out craig piper. dougs dad, who apparently reads my blog more than doug does. pretty awesome man. have fun with the retirement, pretty good stuff.
id also like to shout out all of the people that actually read blog. like in the past couple of weeks ive had more than a few, steve ive been checking your blog 8 or 9 times a day and you havent updated it in forever, wtfrig? its actually pretty sweet.
k cool im done
way to go team.
and actually check back sometimes, i might do some posts. next week might be kinda lame, but this place will be pretty busy over xmas. i know im excited
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
